I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize