This girl is more easily done than said...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
