I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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