Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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