your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
