It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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