Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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