1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
