..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
