And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Randomize
