She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
