Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I could fuck to npr.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
