Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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