Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
