She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
