You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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