How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
