Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
