you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
