On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
True college students do jello shots in the library
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
