so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
