Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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