This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
