Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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