i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
