Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
