Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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