I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
