why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
