I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
ugly people sure do ruin things
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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