i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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