All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
