What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
this is an emotional support booty call
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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