Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Randomize
