My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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