I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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