I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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