It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
pray to the hookup gods
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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