I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
