What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
