don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
