she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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