it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
