What a fucking waste of an outfit
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
