He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
