like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
