its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
