I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
