I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
