i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
