I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
