so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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