Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
