Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im holly from the hills drunk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
