just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
