we have officially lost it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
