so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize