I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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