it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
