He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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