used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
